I dont know where I put my experience?!

 I was looking for a line in my blog but the "control f" function isn't cutting it. Somewhere I have to have shared and let others benefit of my beautiful life experiences. I believe I have the right and the duty to send out this lovely message. Even as a child of God who needs God's help.

I was in church today and saw wonderous things, so I will not forget and will bear in mind that these impossible mysteries are for God's ministry through me in part, but for me more than anything.

I was in the readings, and John 9 was the gospel. In it, a blind man is able to see. He sees for the first time in his life. It happens on the Sabbath. My attention deficit is always in full swing and sometimes, althogh I was never diagnosed but with OCD, I have a bit of turrets. So I was in the hall today because I am hormonal and don't want to speak out. 

I saw Moses was in the Gospel, not even noticing. And thinking of my conversion story from the beginning, taking an interest in the Bible starting in my 20s, I finally saw. In my 40s.

It says, isn't that amazing, and it is for me. For me I was a believer in the tradition of Moses but later saw through Jesus. And I said to myself, in my deficit, "Thats what's amazing" just before the priest did.

Then we are kneeling. I am kneeling in the hall. And the priest is speaking and I catch what he says again. Something, I cannot remember. I look down and there is a candle shape in the ground. It reminds me of the one in Italy. It is significant because the flame isn't out, an the slame itself is a leaf. As though the candle is living and giving off smoke. All these things mattered. The at the left these is an image like Christ. On the floor.

So lately there have been all these pagan like things going on around me and I worry for my wholesome goodness. I don't want to "see" the way they see. And I am considering Jesus mud on the eyes of the man. His gathering the mud reminds me of how I saw before in the church a sign before.

I was kneeling and again not paying attention. I looked up and the window was clear. Nothing there. Then even through kneeling or from standing there was a tree there that wasn't there before. But through some insight and because I was thinking of Jesus so much I came upon the lifting of the veil shortly after, it had made sense to me.

All these things go together.