"You're caught, BC" he said, a voice from the dark, or something like it. An indescribable void which could be like a sound wave in space bouncing indefinitely. It echoed that way.
What he wanted to do was kill my confidence. I'd felt so self assured. Caught, like a little animal in a net. Caught red handed. Playing the martyr. Playing the fool.
"It's not gonna work out fer you, Mary"
Today, in the Gospel or reading, there was a line about flesh and I married the idea to the bread of life. Which was further complicated by a video on Numbers, which explained that 3 is complete. If you Google search, "why does 3 symbolize completeness " you would see it being biblical. It is one of 4 important numbers.
Really I wanted to learn why Balaam, who all I've ever known about was his Donkey, had God speaking from his mouth when he was supposed to be cursing Isreal. It's a fantastic story, but I missed the book of Numbers, which I've avoided until even now, to not become a person who thinks numbers have excessive meaning.
So I thought about completeness, with God as having at once all flesh worshipping him, and it was "all know him". But perhaps some is dead, even as it lives, without him.
This was complicated and made me worry about life and its complicated mechanics. How are we living and dead. It was metaphorical*. Then I said, Mary, you simply DO NOT HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING, and I went outside, and felt the last cool breezes of spring, and saw all the fruit that may ripen, and the glittering sun in the trees, beautiful like a rainforest or like a sunset over water.
But if you ask me, when it says when its over its over, and life is in God through Christ, I'll take my chances.
He died so we would know that in him, even bread comes to life. That is how we know he is God. Because in this we might live.
Tuesday of Fifth Week of Easter
Lectionary: 286
Reading 1
Acts 14:19-28
In those days, some Jews from Antioch and Iconium
arrived and won over the crowds.
They stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city,
supposing that he was dead.
But when the disciples gathered around him,
he got up and entered the city.
On the following day he left with Barnabas for Derbe.
After they had proclaimed the good news to that city
and made a considerable number of disciples,
they returned to Lystra and to Iconium and to Antioch.
They strengthened the spirits of the disciples
and exhorted them to persevere in the faith, saying,
"It is necessary for us to undergo many hardships
to enter the Kingdom of God."
They appointed presbyters for them in each Church and,
with prayer and fasting, commended them to the Lord
in whom they had put their faith.
Then they traveled through Pisidia and reached Pamphylia.
After proclaiming the word at Perga they went down to Attalia.
From there they sailed to Antioch,
where they had been commended to the grace of God
for the work they had now accomplished.
And when they arrived, they called the Church together
and reported what God had done with them
and how he had opened the door of faith to the Gentiles.
Then they spent no little time with the disciples.
Responsorial Psalm
Psalm 145:10-11, 12-13ab, 21
R.(see 12) Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Let all your works give you thanks, O LORD,
and let your faithful ones bless you.
Let them discourse of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might.
R. Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Making known to men your might
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is a kingdom for all ages,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
R. Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
or:
R. Alleluia.
May my mouth speak the praise of the LORD,
and may all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.
R. Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Alleluia
See Luke 24:46, 26
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Christ had to suffer and to rise from the dead,
and so enter into his glory.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Gospel
John 14:27-31a
Jesus said to his disciples:
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give it to you.
Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.
You heard me tell you,
'I am going away and I will come back to you.'
If you loved me,
you would rejoice that I am going to the Father;
for the Father is greater than I.
And now I have told you this before it happens,
so that when it happens you may believe.
I will no longer speak much with you,
for the ruler of the world is coming.
He has no power over me,
but the world must know that I love the Father
and that I do just as the Father has commanded me."
Tuesday of Fifth Week of Easter
Lectionary: 286
In those days, some Jews from Antioch and Iconium
arrived and won over the crowds.
They stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city,
supposing that he was dead.
But when the disciples gathered around him,
he got up and entered the city.
On the following day he left with Barnabas for Derbe.
After they had proclaimed the good news to that city
and made a considerable number of disciples,
they returned to Lystra and to Iconium and to Antioch.
They strengthened the spirits of the disciples
and exhorted them to persevere in the faith, saying,
"It is necessary for us to undergo many hardships
to enter the Kingdom of God."
They appointed presbyters for them in each Church and,
with prayer and fasting, commended them to the Lord
in whom they had put their faith.
Then they traveled through Pisidia and reached Pamphylia.
After proclaiming the word at Perga they went down to Attalia.
From there they sailed to Antioch,
where they had been commended to the grace of God
for the work they had now accomplished.
And when they arrived, they called the Church together
and reported what God had done with them
and how he had opened the door of faith to the Gentiles.
Then they spent no little time with the disciples.
R.(see 12) Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Let all your works give you thanks, O LORD,
and let your faithful ones bless you.
Let them discourse of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might.
R. Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Making known to men your might
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is a kingdom for all ages,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
R. Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
or:
R. Alleluia.
May my mouth speak the praise of the LORD,
and may all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.
R. Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
or:
R. Alleluia.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Christ had to suffer and to rise from the dead,
and so enter into his glory.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Jesus said to his disciples:
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give it to you.
Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.
You heard me tell you,
'I am going away and I will come back to you.'
If you loved me,
you would rejoice that I am going to the Father;
for the Father is greater than I.
And now I have told you this before it happens,
so that when it happens you may believe.
I will no longer speak much with you,
for the ruler of the world is coming.
He has no power over me,
but the world must know that I love the Father
and that I do just as the Father has commanded me."
Ps. *speaking of metaphorical, yesterday I was considering a very simple daily thing and knew it was a metaphor. I was walking home and thinking when I passed by roses that they recieve a lot of praise, yet the honeysuckle are always a favorite of mine as well, they smell nice and taste nice also! I think snowflakes are beautiful poetry and so are roses. The thorn, the bud, the soft elegant petals, the delicious distinct scent. And now that I have to care for them, the bush and the complicated growth that needs care.
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