My blog is my journal

Damn it. So anyway, I had been meaning to write some things down the past few days, and since I have put it off and don't really have any place to put things, just a work out journal that I had sworn to keep light and fluff, I remembered I still had a blog and so I've come to add an entry. I'm still very sad that I haven't been able to resurrect my old blog, it is definitely gone. But as it stands today, there is still a place and a few goofy entries so I can be writing here still, in its ghostly shadow.

There have been a couple of things that prompted this. One, I was standing under this beautiful tree this morning and its blossoms smelled so sweet like perfume. I have pictures. There were so many inspirations provided me by this lacy, bloomed tree, under the crippest blue sky. First thought was about a folk tale I heard once about the olive tree. If you've ever seen one they're pretty unattractive. Supposedly the annointed, when bad spirits are cast away by the oils, they are gathered by the trees, and that's why they're a twisted mangled mess. But walking down the street outside this morning, the trees all so straight and tall and lovely, I thought what this land had known so long, peace and wellness and prosperity.

But of course that was only the one part of the story. Then I had to wonder how the beautiful tree came to grow behind a fence in a thick tangle of thorns and weeds, on government property. I'm sure it is government property because it's got a huge water tower on it with a barbed wire fence enclosing it. But see for yourself. It is an amazing tree to have grown wild here. Perhaps there was a whole other world here before now.

This is really a very beautiful street to walk down. I have been very happy to walk here before. And have had a few experiences here that have been really cool. One time while I was reading this really cool book by Ray Bradbury, a murder mystery, in the night time in what must have been fall, I heard this rustling of leaves across the street where I was walking. Normally I would have been afraid, this time however, I was feeling like I was hanging with my good buddy imagining things about rustling leaves in the spooky fall. It was a small thing, but a lasting memory. And once I was walking down the street, reading old English poetry at this time, on a cold morning, and that time in my coat I imagined I was taking a stroll in the English countryside. 

The littlest things can make such an impression on us. But sometimes very little things have a great deal of impact because they are extraordinary. For instance, while I was reading about George III the other day I had this ridiculous feeling. I don't believe in 

ghosts and I read a heck of a lot more about a whole host of other folks so it was very, very strange. But this all may be so I can remember this, it is one of the things I will have experienced that should be remembered with a sort of awe. I had just read of his losses and was considering his devout christianity when I had a sort of vivid feeling, almost like a vision, of having my head pressed against the chest of some very well dressed man in a suit, with a vest I remember, have to add that, and my impression was that I was being held to his heart. 

I had been reading about this man because I came across a movie on Roku about his reign, which I didn't watch, called, "the madness of King George". I put off watching it because I am not sure I am ready for another Helen Mirren flick, by no fault of her own, she was in a movie that reminded me of my ex husband. 

I have come then, to the end of my story, which sort of ends on another note, a point I had wanted to make. These moments that I experienced, some of them only seconds long, made a sort of dull impact, but were just as incredible as anything one person can experience in a lifetime. This reminds me of the infinite, as it has been explained to me. I had been thinking that I had been selfish feeling I had God in a way others didn't. As a young person, it was always that he was my God, my friend. We were close, very close. But as of late, these were just selfish feelings. In a way, I was with a knowledge that others didn't possess, or felt loved in a way that was all my own. That can't be. Strange but, knowing now about the infinite, this is not entirely impossible. For every view that is inspired by life itself is it's own piece of the infinite. It is lucky that in our unremarkable way, we can be filled with so much beyond measure.

I have seen it more and more lately ... 

That is a story for another day!